I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
