whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
