I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
