There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Randomize
