Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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