Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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