The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
