I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
