if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
