...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
