The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
