My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
