Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
