She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
