We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
