Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
