Just cropdusted the office
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
