Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
