he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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