i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
