I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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