Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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