Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
