with your own penis?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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