that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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