Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
