FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
