we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
