I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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