Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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