Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
