you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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