I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
no, he came in my armpit
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
