well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
