Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
