I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
