I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
