I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
A+ Viking dick
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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