Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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