Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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