Buhtt sex?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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