i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
