Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
