My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
