he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
