Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
