I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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