I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
