I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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