normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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