I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
