haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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