brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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