I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
